Call me Roomba

Roomba: (noun); A robotic vacuum cleaner

Yup, that is correct, I unknowingly vacuumed up or ate just about anything edible in my path in a robotic-like manner. For some time I believed there was a ghost in my home. Empty bags of chips were found in the trash and sleeves of crackers suddenly empty. That sneaky ghost would demolish a block of cheese without me even knowing. Once, I purchased a pretty big bag of dark chocolate coconut bark (because we all know dark chocolate is healthy) and that damn ghost ate the entire bag. As it turns out, no ghost--it was me the whole time! Hence, call me Roomba.

Of course I should have seen this coming. “Should" being the operative word. Now it is like I am rewatching my home movie in slow motion. First my jeans were tight. After making certain they were not my daughter’s, I then assumed I must have accidentally run them through the dryer. Some time after, I began avoiding pictures. Even an appointment with my friend/hair stylist didn’t fix that! The final straw came when my go-to baggy comfy sweats were, well, let’s just say they were NO LONGER COMFY! No I didn’t need a scale. I knew what had happened … I had been roomba-ing!

Roomab-ing: (verb); To walk through life inhaling or consuming food without any awareness or concern of consequences.

This realization made me so sad. But being sad and or depressed always comes with a sense of woe is me. You feel entitled to those feelings and others empathize with you. BUT when it occurs to you that it was you wreaking havoc on yourself, you are responsible for your own sadness. That my friends is what they call a game-changer. I did this to my own self. I, me … the gal who is supposed to be on my side. My friend, my true confidante. The person who knows all my most inner-secrets. The one who knows how much I wanted to fit into that pair of jeans in the back of my closet. How could she?

It’s more like; HOW COULD I? Yes, my 53-year-old body did give birth to two amazing, wonderful children. Yes, I spent the good part of last year keeping my dying dog company. I chose to sit on the couch beside him and not go to the gym. I determined that somehow copious amounts of cheese was a way better option than a sleeve of Oreos. Globs of peanut butter on a banana was a perfectly healthy mid-morning snack! I finagled my way into believing all was okay while I was undermining my very own fitness and health. I am to blame.

During that time the things I heard in my head about me were downright brutal and mean. I was bullying my own self and just sitting by and watching. “You are so weak you can’t even manage to drink 2 lousy glasses of water a day.” “How pathetic that you make excuses that you must clean the house instead of going to the gym.” Such a heartbreaking realization for a gal who travels to schools across our country speaking about the despicability of bullying. I was not just a bully but a hypocrite too!!! How could I implore children to be kind to each other when I couldn’t even be nice to myself?

That did it. It was time to stand up to this bully in my head, so I crafted a plan. First I unplugged my Roomba and downloaded a FREE APP on my phone to help track the food I thoughtfully put into my body! Who knew my peanut butter smothered banana was 409 calories? I knew I needed support so along with my gym buddies I also have a small texting friend group. We not only hold each other accountable but send inspiring messages, bits of humor and updates on our REAL LIFE daily struggles and dreams. Of course this plan included the gym again … and not just my beloved Barre class, but new classes and cardio too.

full plate app.jpg

As my bad choices turned to good choices so too did the voice in my head. She was kinder, positive, encouraging and helped me realize that it just might be better if I invest in a trainer rather than a new wardrobe each time my comfy clothes don’t fit. She’s a smart girl that one!

Moral: The best investment one can make is in themselves--the dividends are endless.

Your honest friend,

A little thing I do: When workouts get tough and I feel I can’t go another second, instead of counting I spell the name of someone I love who has inspired me. If they were able to be so brave and overcome such adversity who am I to struggle. You should try it… helps me every single time!