If you are fortunate enough to hang around you’ll see the world change around you. Buildings get bigger. Shopping centers engulf city blocks. Streets expand into highways. Old tattered down neighborhoods get brought back to life. But also you’ll witness the people around you change too.
You’ll see neighbors children go off to college. Next you’ll be a guest at their weddings. See grandchildren toddle around their backyards. Attend funerals of their loved ones. Tear up as they move out into assisted living and watch young couples move in. You’ll soon see babies being born. Watch family pets come and old ones go. Support the endless school fundraisers and sports teams. Nervously watch as their teenagers learn to drive.
That’s beautiful, but I want to focus on the people right beside you. As they say, the people you hitch your horse to. The day in and day out folks. The ones you hand selected and potentially created. Those you choose over and over, each and every day.
I am lucky enough to be sitting beside one of mine as I write this piece. We are seated side by side on a plane headed for warmer climate. I dreamt of him my whole life long. I prayed for him for that long as well. I did my very best for him. I’ve been right beside him to see him grow from newborn to a man and every stage in between.
I recall the moment we met, the way he searched my eyes and found my soul. The bittersweetness of his first wobbly step. My heart still hitches seeing him turn back to me for reassurance as he stepped onto that big yellow school bus. I still feel the cold of every hockey practice and humidity of our hours spent at the golf course. And the searing pain of my heart splitting into two on move in day at college. One half for me and the other half for him.
As he sleeps I remember rocking him to sleep every night to the same CD; Return to Pooh Corner. I not only remember the peace and quiet of his softly lit room, but the weight my heart carried knowing I was responsible for raising that little boy.
Parenting is an all encompassing responsibility. One filled with every single emotion you can and cannot begin to imagine. There is absolutely no way to prepare yourself. You can read books, listen to your elders, take notes at monthly doctor appointments. These days you can also watch endless videos, TIK-TOKS, YouTube and instagram stories. But until that child is in your arms and you are fully responsible, I am afraid you really don’t know jack.
And it never ends, the not knowing part. Each age and stage presents a new chapter, challenge and opportunity for parents. To mold, teach and model your best for them. Oh there will be mistakes, but also endless opportunities to get it right. Run with those victories, no matter how small and trivial they may seem. But know sometimes it’s the missteps along the way that teach the most.
I survived the exhausted newborn and frazzled terrible twos phase. I managed through the room parent era and carpooled my way through the middle school years. I talked myself off a ledge during the drivers permit bit as well. I’ve adjusted to an empty nest way of life and graciously gave my son to his wife on their wedding day. And now my latest task is grand parenting.
Though I have absolutely no earthly idea how we got here, I know I am ready for it all. I’ve seen so many of my friends morph into babbling proud grands. They “warn” me grand-parenting is the most amazing experience of their lifetime. “Imagine the best of parenting without the same responsibility”. I am eagerly awaiting for my heart to explode with a love I didn’t know existed inside of me.
So, as I watch my son breathe, I too take a big inhale. This boy who held my hand crossing every street will soon grab hold of his very own child’s hand. He and his wife will watch him be born, learn to walk, talk and grow up. As life has from the dawn of time, they will lean on the love and support of those people beside them. A beautiful combination of neighbors, friends, family and me!
with excitement and love, allison
A little thing you should know: I get asked this question a lot, “What will you be called?” So many of my friends have donned the coolest names; Vivi, Queenie and Lala just to name a few. I am searching for mine. I’ve got nothing substantial yet, so I may just have to wait until a certain little someone comes up with it for me….