I was driving down a leaf-covered street, November 12th to be exact, when a song came on my radio. Everything switched into high alert. First Cautious paused my breath long enough for Brain to recognize something was awry. While Curiosity was frantically leafing through past memories, Happiness turned up with a sheepish grin. Next came Anger, pushing its way to the front of the line. But inevitably, Guilt and his best friend Shame showed up with a blanket of doom and gloom. All this hullabaloo occurred within the first few notes of the song. This was not a particularly important song for me mind you, but it’s important to note, it was a Christmas song.
What happened next was new—unexpected and downright shocking. Bravery appeared, parting them all like the Dead Sea, followed closely by Cocky and Indifference. As I surprisingly turned up the volume, Happiness began to sing along. I looked at the cars beside me to see if they were witnessing this coup d’etat. They were unaware.
You see, Christmas doesn’t happen in my world until after Thanksgiving. I’ve been steadfast in respecting November my entire life. We spend the entire month being grateful and end with a feast of turkey and all the traditional delights. Then, and only then, will I unleash the crazy of Christmas. This means no decorations, Hallmark holiday movies and for sure NO Christmas music until December 1st. Yup, I am the one who mutters under her breath in disgust when I hear early holiday music in the stores as people load their shopping carts with glittered garland as I strictly shop for pumpkins and gourds.
So I spent a good part of November 12th pondering this new wrinkle in my shield. Who is this new person I hardly recognize? I felt a sense of shame in my behavior, as if I were some kind of fraud! Yet, I could not ignore the excitement I felt in my veins. Is this the adrenaline rush criminals refer to while committing a crime?
All my life, Change has tripped me up. When I pick a side, team, food, brand, article of clothing or rule, I am all in. And by “all in” I mean I am LOYAL to a fault and have no desire or need for change. Which is why my reaction to this holiday song had me all up in a tangle.
When I am confused, bothered, upset, oh heck, any kind of emotion really, writing usually helps me make sense of it all. But when sitting down to write isn't possible, I revert to my trusty Playlist, chock full of my best songs. I’ll tell you this, every time I listen to that list, I find the answers and support I was searching for. It’s as if the lyrics are dear friends speaking hard truths and encouraging me. It may sound slightly crazy, but if you haven't tried it, you should. Oh, and look at the gem they just played for me.
Something has changed within me.
Something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.
Too late for second-guessing, too late to go back to sleep.
It's time to trust my instincts. Close my eyes and leap!
Defying Gravity
Wicked Soundtrack
And as if someone turned on a 300-count strand of twinkle lights, I understood. I am not dishonoring my core value system, just tweaking a self-imposed rule. No shame or embarrassment necessary, just making a happiness adjustment for me. I’m still the same November grateful gal I’ve always been proud to be, just one who gets her holiday spirit on a few weeks earlier now.
Moral: “Let it go, let it go! Can’t hold it back anymore…” Frozen Soundtrack
with glittered gratitude, allison
A few little things you should know:
1. Some of you have an Elf on the Shelf in your home, but I live with a real life freakin’ Christmas elf we named Madison Lee many, many years ago. She is impossible. I hear her quietly playing Christmas tunes before Halloween. I see trails of glitter as she walks past. I watch the packages arrive at our doorstep. And yes, I can smell her darn holiday candle scents coming up through the floor boards. It wouldn’t surprise me if she were the mastermind behind this whole coup d’etat!
2. Which leads me to this: I am utterly out of Christmas control. I have since glitterfied my entire home. I can be found loading my cart with all the latest and greatest holiday decor I can get my hands on, most especially my new obsession of bottlebrush trees!!!! I am even posting holiday decorating and crafting reels to my instagram. Feel free to follow whoever the me I am now on Instagram @missallisonjo
I have posted a reel on how I made these little bottlebrush trees a little bit sweeter… @missallisonjo