When you gotta go….

These past few weeks too many people I love have experienced life threatening health scares. So much so that I wondered if my angels were sending me a message. So when my younger and much cooler friend suggested we do a HIIT workout (High Intensity Interval Training) a.k.a (Holy Idiotic Insane Training) I was very hesitant but felt I had better say yes.

We arrived at our gym for an elliptical warm-up, which is honestly more of a full-on sweat-fest for me! Next we gathered our weapons of mass destruction; dumbbells, jump-ropes, kettle bells, medicine balls and a mat. Being the more hip chick, she handled her iPhone app timer and I managed to pull up the torture list on my phone. Of course, being 53 years of age I couldn’t even see this list without my glasses-keeping in mind sweat and glasses never ends well. Just 30 mere seconds into our first bit it was clear I was in over my head. Not only was my chest just about concussing me with each jump but my stomach should have been flagged for illegal motion. (Sorry, couldn’t help the football references) Between holding my chest in place and sucking in my lower half, I almost didn't notice the more severe situation; my bladder. With fear in my eyes, which she may or may not have recognized due to my sweating profusely or her age, I excused myself and “kegeled" my way towards the bathroom.

[key-guh l, kee-]

The name of a pelvic floor muscle and exercise, named after Dr. Kegel who discovered the exercise. These muscles are attached to the pelvic bone and act like a hammock, holding in your pelvic organs. A common function of these muscles is stopping and starting the flow of urine. 

Now just envision this exercise in a walking position; you see it right?

Now just envision this exercise in a walking position; you see it right?

My sincerest apologies to those who kindly tried to converse with me as I passed-this was no time for small talk. This was game time. My mind was focused with my goal in sight-the bathroom. One slip up and well, there would sure be something to slip up in. And with months of practice makes perfect, my form was spot on. With the pride of a gymnast who just stuck her landing, I barged into the ladies bathroom only to find a LINE five deep! I quickly weighed my options. Could I make it to another bathroom in time? Should I use the men’s bathroom just one door over, which no matter the venue or location, always seems to never have a line? Could I pull the “Can I sneak in front of you, I have an old bladder?” card? I looked at my suspects, and that’s when I noticed this line was comprised of woman who all had my same look upon their face. These woman were my seniors and just finished an early morning Strength for Life Class and most importantly, all deserving of my respect. I resided myself to stay put, practice patience, kegels and enjoy the never disappointing bathroom chatter.  

“That was a close one Penny, almost didn't make it through that class!” “I know, I had to leave in the middle even though I had already gone before it started.” “Helen, at least we are here. You heard about Susan, right?” And there amongst a chatty woman’s bathroom you could hear the slightest gasp from the second stall and our bathroom went silent. 

All of a sudden I was no longer worried about my bladder. I could care less about my “orangutan” boobs. I was here. Albeit, anxiously waiting for my turn to use a public toilet, but I WAS HERE. There was a collective moment of silence amongst us for a woman some of us did not even know. An awareness that even standing in the ladies bathroom line you will find what you didn’t even realize you were waiting for. 

Orangutan in motion.jpg

So with an empty bladder and improved perspective, I said a silent thank you to a woman I will never have the chance to meet, prayers for recuperating loved ones and hurried back to my patiently waiting friend, who may or may not have been worried I’d fallen and couldn't get up.

Moral: It may indeed be true, life places us just where we need to be.

with blatant honesty, 

*names changed out of respect