I am not a gambling gal--but if I were, this is exactly the kind of bet I should have put all my marbles on. Not only would I have not lost a single bet, but may easily have tripled my lot. Thanks to the last 27 years of practice I have under my belt this type of bet is what Vegas refers to as a “lock." Here we are closely edging towards the end of March and I am right where I always am--panicking.
Don’t worry friends--I am not exactly requesting you to “talk me off the ledge,” for this is a job that must be done on my own. I had approximately 365 days to prepare for this looming deadline. Twelve months to keep things organized, so this task would be easy-peasey. Instead--the deadline is closing in, my throat is filling with bile, my chest with doom and I am feeling a bit more paralyzed with each passing day.
This task is not even physically taxing. There is no need to train or even qualify for that matter. I will not break a sweat, pull a hammy or tear my meniscus. No weather to endure--as a matter of fact this task will eventually be accomplished in the comfort of my own home where I have indoor plumbing, running water, stocked fridge and endless coffee at my fingertips.
You must be wondering what the actual task is that I dread so? It’s so distasteful to me that it seems all things are more worthy of my time than this particular task. Yes, I can hear my mind say, “Live your life Allison, this task can wait! You have months until the deadline, what are you so worried about? It’ll get done!” So in just these past few weeks I’ve done exactly that. I have raked out three rather large garden beds, scrubbed our algae covered water feature and replanted all window boxes and planters. I cleaned the entire basement including our daughter’s bedroom. With just 18 days until this deadline still today you could find me on the roof blowing leaves from the eaves and gutters!
The Von Trapp family singing in The Sound of Music
But just as the Von Trapp family knew when it was the right time to leave Austria … I too recognize it is now time for me too.
“So long, farewell
Auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu
To you and you and you.”
The above photo represents the very reason why I must say goodbye to you for the next few weeks. This is my tax cabinet. For the last 365 days I have tossed every single paper I felt was somehow related to our 2015 taxes. Also amongst all those financial papers are other papers I hid when people came to visit or just stopped by. This cabinet represents my disdain for numbers, math and calculations. It harkens back to every math problem I never understood.
So until I finish this job I will not allow myself to blog, bake, craft, garden or paint!!! Just maybe this will be the incentive I need to help me stay focused as I unload, sort, highlight, tally, organize and finally ship off my return to our taxman. Yes, all this fuss and angst and I don’t even do our taxes … I am just responsible for gathering up all the numbers and documents to mail to our dear tax accountant who has the patience of a saint.
Off in the distance I hear someone saying, “Allison, put your big girl panties on!” Maybe that is just what I need, but first I’m going to give Olivia Pope a ring. Maybe she will “handle this” for me?
Moral: Postponing any unpleasant task seems to only make the misery last longer.
Your challenged friend,
A little thing I do: I know enough about me to know I need many dangling carrots for this task to be accomplished. Not the edible kinds, the kinds that will keep me focused and on task. I’ve decided my carrot will be a massage. Once April 15th comes and goes … I will hopefully be cleansing my body and mind of all toxins--I mean numbers!